My Mother Melba Can Go To Hell For All I Care

Asnat with her mother, in 2025. Then, Kaura with delirious, self proclaimed “mother”, Melba Whitehead, um-teen years ago. 

My mistress celebrates my position in her life. Whereas, Melba rejected me to only realize she is and will be nothing without me. One fact remains clear in both images, I have an unaccountable youthful soul. A spirit bright enough to shine in the midst of psychological, physical and spiritual torture. Then again it’s just a picture. What matters is what I see and now, who I choose. That will always be Queen Nandi. Go cry about it. 

Brainwash, to pressurize someone into adopting radically different beliefs by using systematic and often forcible means. By Oxford’s definition and my own analysis of memory, this was my experience. I had been a victim of false imprisonment, physical abuse and neglect. Melba was the voice of my inner monologue. My thoughts were not my own, I believed I was not entitled to free will. She was never around but her voice , her nagging, her criticisms still haunted me. As a result of Melba’s demonic nature and methods of torment, I suffered for over 20 years in silence. Although, I’ve never been one to shy away from opportunities to express myself, I was brainwashed. Or so I told myself to live with the thought that I was simply ignored by all the relatives who saw and heard my cries for help. Day after day, I prayed for true freedom from the tyranny of the world I lived in. Here I am, I have nothing to prove. You’ve heard it all before, and yet the world still interrogates me as the perpetrator with questions the world only asks BLACK victims. “Why didn’t you leave?” And my personal favorite, “Why didn’t you say this years ago?” I don’t know, maybe because NOBODY LISTENS.

How vicious is a “mother” who encourages edomites to call her BLACK child a vulnerable, incapable, mentally unstable slave? Even your ploy to publicly humiliate and insult my intelligence is nefarious. Everything you do is methodical, hence why the four, 15 year old pictures you have of me are just now seeing the light of day. The fact that I have not even a single memory of this day substantiates my judgment of you. I only have terrible memories of you because you are truly a terrible, demented and disgusting person. Which is why I never mentioned you or any of your foul spirited kinfolk. Prior to you making your debut as the mother of the missing texan lady in Scottish forests, you were an irrelevant, insignificant, nobody. I held my tongue and spared all of yall but no more. Now I hold the power of your fate as a characters in MY story. You can go to hell for all I care. 

Kubala Kubala Ilizwe